Friday, 1 May 2015


Sweating Palms, Racing Heart, Mind Blank, Fear!

These are some symptoms of Fight and Flight! Adrenalin and cortisol are pumping through your body.

The good news is, that with modern techniques that really deal with the root cause of the issue triggering the response, it doesn't have to be this way. 

How many of us have experienced a fear of speaking in public? I often treat my clients with confidence and public speaking therapy and they can range from the Police to Judges and Lawyers, Business Clients, Interviewees and Students to Actors who's trade it is is to speak in public - stage fright and anxiety is actually extremely common in the profession. Those who are rarely called upon to face the experience of speaking in public, can first encounter it when asked to speak at a wedding or event, a funeral or at work. It really is across the broad spectrum of society that this affects.

So, with my experience as both a Therapist and Actress, I wanted to share some hopefully useful tips for authentic confidence and speaking success.

This isn't just about confidence. Confidence is a state that you can actually obtain very quickly. There are commonly known anchoring and NLP techniques used frequently to assist with this in coaching which I use and have developed and combined with other modalities for my own use in this treatment. What I am interested in sharing here is to speak with presence and success!

There are methods of obtaining confidence and presence. Presence is about being in the moment, belief, a confidence, authenticity and communication. As Anxiety is a future based emotion, the more anxious someone is on a stage or in interview, the less likely they are in the moment and present.

I want to share a few basic techniques and ways in which you can go from fear of public speaking, to fearless presence allowing you to relax and be present to the stimulus.

Preparation. Do the homework as the pre-requisite to any treatment, if you are not up on the requirements then that is likely to be the reason why you are nervous. Knowledge brings with it it's own level of confidence. An obvious one but worth mentioning.

This is about state and communicating what it is that you are due to deliver in a way that engages an audience and listener and entrances them!

Know the fear to remove it. Know how it is affecting you, understand that these are signals and signals are useful to listen to.

So if you feel fear at the idea of public speaking or interview situation this requires the removal of fear so the root cause of it must be identified. That might be a memory of public speaking. A series or singularly confidence-affecting negative self beliefs or a seemingly unrelated incident.  This is not always identified by you consciously, that's where I can begin to assist the unconscious mind towards recovering the original belief causing event.

With this in mind now, you can apply the Havening. This exercise is Amygdala Depotentiation Therapy. Havening is a new technique that uses simple brushing and physical stimulis to arms, face and hands, to create delta waves and naturally occurring oxytocin and serotonin in the body. Please visit my site: Havening Link

This exercise is in it's simplest form and is a very useful tool for anxiety. Please note and be aware that this is the process in a simple form and if you require more robust therapy, I offer Havening in London or Central Manchester.

Think of the event that is bothering you and causing uncomfortable feelings.
I'd then like you to scale the level of uncomfortable feeling on a scale of 1-10. 1 = 'no negative emotion' 10 = the worst.

Please now slowly and in a reassuring firm manner, begin brushing from your shoulder down to your elbow repeatedly and as if to calm yourself rhythmically. As you do so, I want you to count backwards from 103 in '4s' 
103, 99, 95, 91....

When you have reached 0, I want you now to take yourself in your imagination to a beautiful, calming place you'd like to take a walk. It could be a tropical beach or a woodland or garden - anywhere of your choosing. 

See the place and you continue to brush shoulder to elbow and imagine you are taking 30 steps and count out loud 1-30. 
One.....Two.....Three....Four....(keep counting out loud till you reach thirty all the time continue to brush from shoulder to elbow)
Hear what sounds are there and how they are reassuring and calming
Notice the angle of the sun or light direction
Notice the temperature in this place
See what you see...

Then imagine you are walking in a figure of 8 around two large trees in a clockwise direction and count out loud 1-8 with each lap. The repeat as if walking in an anti-clockwise direction.

With your eyes open, move your eyes laterally at eye level from farthest left to right, to left, to right each way back and forward keeping your head still.

Bring yourself back to a relaxed position and relax your eyes. Stop brushing.

Think on the future event again.

Re-rate any negative feelings on the same scale of 1-10. Has the number decreased? If so, then keep the above exercises until it reaches the lowest number of 'no negative emotion'.


1. The Breath!

Connecting to the breath brings you to the present moment.

For connectedness and effortless projection, imagine 'Breathing in the collective room'. With your hand on the lower part of your stomach feel the air push out your hand with the in-breath and reduce as the air goes out. Breathing the air of the room from the farthest points connects you energetically to the dimensions of it. It has an affect on the voice and helps your projection naturally. The breathing supports you and helps to support the voice.

2. Perceive the audience is one collectedness - one body. 

To explain what I mean by this perception is as an actress I have appeared on many stages all over the world and the common phenomenon is that an audience is one. An audience is it's own 'being'. They move like a flock of birds so their energy shifts and they have a character. Every night is slightly different. They will laugh and react collectively. Collectively an audience bonds with each other energetically. You aren't speaking to 800 people, you are speaking to a large breathing being, willing you to do well. Notice how the truth of that resonates now as you remember being present in an audience yourself and noticing how you laughed along with and felt often a part of a collective. So actually, no matter what the number it is intimate. Addressing the collective with the energy of addressing a friend in an intimate setting is key. 

3. Now to imagine Breathing-In the space. 

If you get an opportunity to be in the space prior to the audience sitting or entering. Breath in the whole room. Breath out to the whole room. Look ahead of you then continue to look ahead and using your peripheral vision notice what is on either side of you. Breath in gently and fully as though the air you connect with is from the very corners and back of the space. The send the warmer breath from your body back out to these peripheries.

4. Centre Yourself. 

This requires a few mindful moments of calibration.

I want you to firstly - notice your breathing. Notice that the out-breath is slightly warmer than the in-breath. Notice that you become more relaxed on an out breath than you do on your in breaths, now,  follow your out breath and then let the pause rest for a moment before you release breath in naturally again. Just ever so slightly elongating the pause each time you notice the space between the breaths.

5. Grounding. 

Feeling grounded to the earth and centred allows you to feel focused and weighted with authority. 

I then want you to imagine breathing in through the top of your head and then imagine you are breathing the out breath out through the soles of your feet. 

Then breath in as though through the soles of your feet and then breath out through the top of your head. This quickly grounds you and connects you to the space. Placing your palm on the crown of your head and your other hand on your belly will also connect you to your breath. Feeling the warmth of the palm on the belly and connecting in your mind and body to your breathing in this area is comforting. Practise this for a moment.

Breath is very important. Breath is natural and will take care of itself and at this stage you can add relaxation to the breath and centre yourself by using these techniques.

6 Your future event!

How does it make you feel? Imagine, see, feel, notice, sense and evaluate exactly how it is making you react. 

What does it do to your breathing?

What does it do to your thoughts?

What else do you notice? Notice what you notice now.

What do you want instead? 

Visualise The Event How You Want It To Be!

Vividly imagine the future event as you want it to be. Be disassociated from the image. Picture the scene and see yourself, play out with a speed from the beginning to the end your performance to perfection.

Notice how you breathe when you are relaxed in the scene. Become part of the collective audience and see your magnificence! Make some adjustments until the image is perfect! Make it brighter! Make it sunnier! Make it sharper and more HD, make it exactly as you want it to be - effective, elegantly delivered, maybe funnier, happier, confident! 

Go back to the beginning of the movie of you delivering the perfect, confident performance and play it again, continue to make the adjustments of perfection. Now, using your imagination,  step into yourself in the image and associate with it. Feel the magnificence. Breath how you breath when you are really confident, look through your eyes at the acceptance and joy of the collective audience.

Step back out of yourself and keep playing the movie until you are satisfied that that is exactly how you want it to go!

If any negative arose, I want you to imagine adjusting the scene like the director and creator of your own movie and change the ending! Change the bits you aren't so keen on and make the whole of the movie amazing! Even more amazing that you had ever previously thought possible! You get what you think about and so make it wonderful! You are in control and have the controls so make the necessary adjustments. 

There are many many more techniques that offer personalised and detailed application to you and your situation and seeing me as your therapist and coach in this situation will mean you get deep levels of elimination of anxiety, past traumas or speaking, past anxiety elimination and future goal setting. Real techniques from my RADA training and those I developed as an actress and NLP Hypnotherapist. It really is a winning combination and I want to share them with as many people as possible.

If you liked this blog and think you have a friend who could benefit from the techniques, please share it with them. Help them to be the best that they can be too!

For more information about me and the techniques I use please visit my website at Health-Success. I treat clients in London as a Confidence Therapist and Public Speaking Hypnotherapist in London and Manchester. Call me on 0161 989 8182 or email me here: Email Here